What do you do?

What do you do when things are blue for you?
What do you do when you know what you want to do, but can't?
What do you do when life doesn't go the way you want it to?
What do you do when people you think are friends, really aren't?
What do you do when you want to sleep but can't?
What do you do when your mind is racing and you can't stop it?
What do you do when you loose control of situations?
What do you do when you just can't be you?

Being Injured... changing directions

Being injured at work sucks.

July 11 I got hurt at work. I woke up July 12 in lots of pain, I woke up July 13, not being able to get out of bed on my own. My lower back was causing me so much pain. My neck and left shoulder hurt bad too.

So I went to a doctor that work sent me to. Some x-rays and 3 drugs later I went home. I felt better three days later. Well, my lower back pain disapperaed. I think the lower back pain was covering the pain of the shoulder area because the shoulder continued to hurt. Old injury made worse... and it keeps hanging on.

Today was the first day that I woke up that my shoulder didn't hurt. Now, it's not 100%, but it didn't hurt. I still felt tingling and a bruised feeling. Will that ever go away?

The doc wants me to do Physical Therapy and come back in 2 weeks. He said PT would call and set up some times. Yet, they haven't called to set me up with any PT yet. Two weeks are ticking away quickly.

I am thinking more and more that I have to get out of this career, move into something above this. I can't take much more pain. I can't take being injured from my work.

I am taking Physiology during the fall semester at DMACC. I am nervous because I haven't been to school in awhile and looking through the teacher's notes, it's gonna be hard. I paid for the class with money that should've been used to pay bills. I also obviously bought the teacher's notes. I have to wait to buy the books on the 19th. Class starts the 26th.

Nothing easy is worth doing. I know. Perhaps I need to look at this as something I have to do. I am going to get totally exhausted between August and December with work, school, and traveling for Alexis' cheer competitions.

I know I can do this... just wish me luck. ;-)

Quotes...

"And it's me who is my enemy, me who beats me up, me who makes the monsters, me who strips my confidence, and it's me who is too weak, and it's me who is too shy to ask for the thing I love."

Life is cruel and unfair, my friends, and that is fact.

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."

"It's just when you want... no when you need people to be there for you, They're not.. they're like a million miles away And when you think somoene is totally reliable and trustworthy and you've built your whole life around them and then it turns out they were never that person."

I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me. -- Dr. Seuss

In case you were wondering..

Where did I get the "I have a voice."

I got it after hearing this song in a movie a long time ago and it kindof stuck inmy brain and so I just decided to use something close to it:

I am one voice and I am singing
I am one voice and I am singing
I am one voice and I am singing
I am not alone

We are two voices we are singing
We are two voices we are singing
We are two voices we are singing
We are not alone

We are a hundred voices singing
We are a hundred voices singing
We are a hundred voices singing
We are not alone

We are a thousand voices singing
We are a thousand voices singing
We are a thousand voices singing
We are not alone

We are a million voices singing
We are a million voices singing
We are a million voices singing
We are not alone

I am one voice and I'll keep singing
I am one voice and I'll keep singing
I am one voice and I'll keep singing
I am not alone